Cheri Fami mwen,

Hey peoples!

So, to start this beautiful email off, remember how I told ya'll I was sick last week? Yeah... I don't think any of you realized what I meant by that. I wasnt just a little under the weather... I was seriously messed up.

I fought as much as I could, but eventually had to go to the Doctor... I got some medications, and was told it would help. Nope, It got worse. It got so bad that I had to go on a grand adventure to the BYU Student Health Clinic off the MTC campus. It was a really weird experience walking out of the MTC, and strolling around in the real-world. I had an X-ray taken on my chest, and blood drawn.

I apperentely have a "Bronchital" (Dont know how to spell it) Infection. It was nasty. I was coughing so hard I bruised a rib/muscle thing, and it hurt seriously bad wether I coughed or not..

This letter is off to a bad start, but lets go deeper.

As I spent this week in complete misery, I ended up missing a couple class times, study times, and teaching times...

It was heart breaking.

I felt like I was going to be really far behind...

It was heart breaking also to miss teaching our investigators too.

After missing 1 or two, (when I say I missed it, I mean I was too sick to teach, so I went back to the Residence to rest.) After missing 1, or 2, investigator teaching appointments... I was completely sick, of being sick. I forced myself to get to all the classes, and stay awake, and concious during all the study times, and everything. I was trying so hard. I didn't want to miss teaching again. I need to learn. I need to get better. I need to not give up...

The closer it got to our teaching appointment with "Robert", the bi-polar illness decided to hit me as hard as It possibly could. I was hunched over in my desk, trying so hard to keep it together. "I wont miss, I wont miss, c'mon!"

At the last second, as I slouched in my desk... I had to give up. I knew there was no way I could teach. I couldn't even breathe, let alone think straight. It was awful.

My companion jumped in with Elder Brockbank, and they taught a short lesson, without having any time to plan ahead... 

I sat there in my desk... World spinning, completely devestated.

For the first time, I got homesick, and missed my family, my friends, and my home...

I felt completely devestated. Like I was being the worst missionary in the world. And that, I'm being a dissapointment to the Lord, and myself... I was so mad, and upset, and frustrated that I had to miss this. To be honest, I cried.

I cried like a baby, sitting there with my head burried in my arms.

I got so worried and scared, that I was going to be Quarentined. Or, worse, Expelled. (Sent home.)

I didn't want this.

I was trying my best!

I was forcing myself to do the best that I could do. I got myself to class. I got my head up. I focused as hard as I possibly could in class, despite the feeling like I was on a harbored boat, in a hurricane.

What was I doing...?

I think as a missionary you blame yourself, for everything.

Even if it's completely not in your control, you blame yourself.

I don't know why.

I think it has to do with the fact that, as a Missionary, you are called to rely wholey, on the Lord. 

And when anything bad happens, you automatically assume its your fault.

Mission's are definitely trials of your personal faith. And If I said this before forgive me, but I believe that the biggest lesson this MTC/Mission experiance can teach me, is to have faith, and rely on the Lord.

I'll keep working on this.

I feel terrible that this email is to sad.

I don't know what good things to say.

Hmmm....

My instructor Fre Hall did however pull me aside later, and asked me how I was doing, the then  explained to me how that me being sick could just be veiwed as a personal trial for me.

He said I might have a conpanion on my mission that gets sick, and I'll be better prepared to work around it kinda thing.

He then told me...

That he knows the Lord is very happy, and proud of me, that I'm in Class when I was. And that I'm in the MTC at all.

That made me really happy.

Thank you for the few packages I got this week!

Kate, Kari, Mom, Nana, and thanks for the letters this week Mike, and Ester, and Dad!

I think I got less mail this last week then I have while being here.

Not to complain. 

But while I was sick that would have been super awesome to get some letters.

The Sunday Fireside this last weekend was awesome. I can't remember the name of the guy that spoke. W.Tracy something.

He showed us the opening song to some theatre awards last year, that was mocking Mormons, and had characters from that anti-mormon play.

He then showed us how in the playbill of the play... The Church bought adverstising on 3 different pages, and advertised stuff like "The book was better." and showed a picture of the Book of Mormon.

I thought that was awesome.

3minutes.

A lot of the letters I wrote last week, were partially written while I was out of this world. So I'f they were kinda crazy, forgive me.

Our district (The 6 Haitian speakers) has recently made really good friends with all the Tahitian missionaries.

We have "story night" every night at our residence, and Elder Giordano tells us awesome stories.

I really miss Seth.

I feel more alone in this place now.

It seems scarier.

But I'm so happy to know, that Seth is always just 1 step ahead of me.

It gives me some comfort knowing, I always have his example to look at,

I wish I had more time to see Elder Hellbush too...

Lastly, 1 minute...

Emily!

I cant wait to see you!

Also, when Is Jessica coming?

I love you guys, take good care, and remember Mom, I can't read your emails... Please, send me letters, or Dear Elders.

Im still recovering from being sick, so your support would be awesome.

i hope I have more to write about next week.

And I hope ya'll realize I can only reply on Tuesdays to stuff, so send letters before then!

Mail time, is the best time of the day...

I love you guys.

Cya

-Elder Turek

Elder McMullin

Elder Turek on his sick bed...